Oh yeah, we’re so just friends.
So guy, girl, friends, now is that all possible? Uhh, yeah. Don’t tell me that you don’t have tagged Facebook photos of good times with friends of opposite sex. But how about being really, really good friends? Well, you and your fellow proponent of “we are just good friends” can generally be categorized into these two types. So exactly which types are we talking about here? These are the two couplings:
Type I: “Doers”
What: Out of you guys’ mutual endorsement for having fun, you two spend late nights trying out new eateries in town, go on road-trip to explore nearby cities, spend most of the disposable time doing fun stuff together and all in all benefit from each other’s company. Everybody suspects that something is going on because you are so ostensibly always hanging out together, but in truth one is just serving all functions of a partner without letting the hormonal stuff getting in the way.
What is it really: Well, you guys’ interests are aligned and you two are fairly compatible, so it’s a win-win arrangement right? Maybe if you are this guy. It is not normal for you to have to forego a deeper emotional connection for the sake of keeping things “drama-free.” No, you are not being a drama queen for longing for something deeper: it is only natural that we feel invested and attached to whom we are spending much time with. If you are glued to someone for whom this is not the case, this person may have a major emotional blockage and suffer from fear of commitment.
I can likely do friends without benefits.
Type II: “Feelers”
What: You guys truly live out the line “I’m always willing to listen if you need someone to talk.” Intellectually compatible, you two can chat until wee hours which afterwards makes you want to scream “he understands me!” He puts the best of CSI to shame by effortlessly disarming you and probing your deepest secrets and you respond with something like “I’ve never told anyone this but..” for the creation of an all-around intimate aura.
What is it really: Congratulations, you are closer than the coupling above in seeing an end to this entanglement! Sooner than later, a moment will come when you confuse yourself into thinking that you are in love (I mean you have to be if you got this intimate, right?) and heartbroken when it’s not reciprocated. Here’s the truth: look around this person’s relationships and you will find numerous “it’s complicated” involvements with opposite sex friends. This is the person who will embraces their ability to easily connect with the friend of the opposite gender and not limit such gift to a single use with you.
Both of these types share one commonality- such arrangements are not sustainable. You are essentially each other’s substitute boyfriend/girlfriend, and thus it is likely to end when either of you find a real one. So how to best navigate the friend zone unharmed? We will find out in the upcoming finale post!
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