Really, are you two just friends? (Part 1)
Whether true fans or ordinary muggles, most who watched the last of the Harry Potter movies will recall one particularly shocking projection on big screen: Harry and Hermione exchanging a passionate kiss via Ron’s illusory vision. The series never dawdled much on the love triangle, but even so, was Ron really the only one in the theater who’ve ever held suspicions about Harry and Hermione’s relationship? Given their compatibility, connection and all that craziness undertaken together thanks to You-Know-Who, aren’t Harry and Hermione bound to have some romantic inkling? Or are they just like really, really good friends?
Granted, Hermione’s heart was long stolen by Ron and Harry had sweet little Ginny, but if that was not the case, they would have faced some serious scrutiny by others about whether they are dating and if not, why they are not dating. And soon enough, one of them may just start wondering the same thought: yeah, why are we not dating when we are so seemingly inseparable?
Don’t get me wrong, having opposite sex friends is great if not pretty awesome. Whether they are your coworkers, classmates, yoga mates, etc, these people offer the comfort, mutual respect and the thrill of mingling with opposite sex without the drama and trauma that often arises out of close relationships. Although your guy friends’ company during trips to Ikea is something to be welcomed, you know it’s a little weird when this guy friend frequently accompanies you in such common dating activities. You just can’t blame the sales clerk for mistaking you as a couple when you and your friend are bickering about the best mattress material over a shared milkshake.
More importantly, you must admit, the reason why you’ve not quite “put yourself out there” (and didn’t message back that ‘not bad’ guy on your online dating profile) is because your time and your heart is preoccupied by others- namely this friend of yours.
The phrase “friends with benefit” has been around for long enough, but are you stuck in between what’s been newly labeled as friends without benefits? This is when you are essentially in a dating relationship without the juicy benefits of being in one: the passion, the attachement and of course, the love. That’s right, you guys are literally just friends. Another online dating blogger further explores this concept in a piece rightfully titled, “Is Platonic the New Romantic?” But really, can you truly replace the comfort and ease your status quo relationship (or friendship, or whatever) offers for dating and finding love?
Whether you and your buddy are hanging out all the time for a fishy reason or you two are just like really, really good friends, this topic deserves further investigation and discussion with examination from psychology research, professional wisdom and personal rants. And we will be rightfully doing so here in the coming week!
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